Emily Has Things

a record of my contributions to consumerism in this time of economic despair

Friday, May 21, 2010

i have/had shoes

I love shoes.

Okay, I know girls have to love shoes, but for real-- I love shoes.

The thing is, I'm not super picky about my shoes. I don't spend a lot of money on single pairs of shoes, I just spend money on a lot of pairs of shoes. I collect shoes. I have always received compliments on my shoes. Shoes, cardigans, and headbands. Definition of style to me.

Let's not get crazy, though. I have cool shoes but only in select styles. I dig flats. I like pretty heels, but I like them high, and I like them classic. I am no Kim Kardashian when it comes to shoes, though I will admit, these caged booties are pretty awesome. If only I were brave enough to wear them.If I could, I would have a walk-in closet, and I would dedicate a whole wall to shoes. Not a new concept, but of course, in my little basement apartment, I don't have a walk-in closet, and my shoe wall is reduced to a shoe bin that I've been carting around since my freshman year at the dorms. And even though I hoe through my shoes every year or so, my shoe bin has lately looked like this:
Quelle nightmare!

47 pairs of shoes! Not only do my shoes not even all fit in the bin, but it's a disaster pile that is impossible to dig through. And though I'm as sentimental as they come, and I can argue, "What if I need them sometime!" as hard as anyone, I will always want new shoes. So Mr. Ames gave me the instruction,
For each new pair, I must get rid of two.

Those yellow heels, the green fake Keds and new tennies are my three newest pairs of shoes, for which I had not yet sacrificed to the shoe gods, so I decided to reorganize, beginning by making three areas of the living room: 1. For Keeps 2. For Maybe Keeps 3. For Probably Not Keeps.Of course, there's the fourth group-- For Keeps Forever Because These Are Already A Late-90s Relic:Eat your heart out, Melissa Joan Heart. My grandchildren had better appreciate these in 50 years because these will never get thrown away. I wore them to my 8th grade "graduation" dance and had my hair done at the salon and wished John Ferris would have danced with me. I should really give them their own box and stack them with my wedding shoes-- that's how real I'm being about them, guys.

After my sifting, I kept 29 pairs and put 6 pairs in a box to offer to the thrifting gods.Red flats I wore to college convocation and are actually little girls' shoes; black flats I wore for the run of Pericles all fall semester 2008; sandals I got at Rite-Aid for $8, painted green heels I sniped from HCTO before a yard sale that were used in Thoroughly Modern Millie; navy grandma loafers that I got at DI, wore four times, then determined I wasn't cool enough to wear grandma DI clothes the way my friend Julie does (she particularly wears polyester and pleated pants very well); and beach shoes from Maine that were taken in this picture, and then determined to not be sacrificed after all because I can take them back to Maine where they may become suitable porch shoes.

I found12 pairs to be unfit (read: too stinky) for any other human to wear.Goodbye red boat shoes I bought during Little Women and wore through England! Goodbye music note shoes! Goodbye favorite flats, and first pair of trendy boots I bought in my adult life for only $19.99, and best cranberry knit boots every missing one button! Goodbye Rocket Dog velcro shoes I found on eBay as a senior in high school after they stopped manufacturing them, and New Balance sneakers that saw me through all my folk dance years! Goodbye slip-on moccasins I got at the BYU bookstore for 40% off that were almost ruined when it rained torrential rain the very first day I wore them, and the yellow jelly shoes that never looked good with my ankles but were jelly shoes and therefore had to be worn!

18 shoes gone / 2 (for each new pair at a 2:1 ratio) - 1 yellow heels - 1 green fake Keds - 1 tennies = 6 new pairs for the summerrrrrrrrr!

Only we're on a budget, Mom, so I won't get 6, promise.

Monday, March 22, 2010

i have a jonesing for new glasses

Kay so I want new glasses, right? The ones I'd ideally like are name-brand and a few hundred dollars. They sure are shiny and retro.

Since I don't have that kind of money to just flip around when there are bills and insurance to be paid, I'm opting for a pair from zennioptical.com. It's like getting glasses from a shady street vendor in New York except without the shady or the street vendor. Or the New York.

These are my top-three choices.

Number One:
Note the funny little design on the bridge of the nose. These are a fun alternative to the Ray Bans, yeah? I dig the tortoise shell design, and that they're chunky, and that they are a "men's" design because big glasses look good on my big face. Also I need a wide lens because my eyes are so big hair toss. But for real. Price: $12.95 + lenses

Number Two:
Only in the tortoise shell pattern or black/white, for texture and also for the gold rim around the lens.
These don't feature the little nose pads that Number One has, and I do think I'd like the adjustable nose pads since my current frames don't have nose pads and they're very heavy on my nose. These might not be so bad though. These are pretty close to the Ray Bans. Little different. Still borderline hipstery. Price: $19 + lenses

Number Three:

A little more mod. There is the issue of the swirly design on the sides, but I think I'm into it. There's no rim on the lenses, but they're an interesting shape. Still, maybe a little too narrow for my enormous eyes hair toss? Price: $23.95 + lenses

Please assist. The pressure is too great. I can't possibly make a decision all by myself when we're talking like $20 here.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

i have boring things to buy

Let me tell you about my most recent contributions to the economy.

(for our apartment, not the musical. the musical would be more interesting.)

Being on a budget is suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuper boring, you guys.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

i have a great outfit today

Today is one of those perfectly not-winter-not-spring days. The weather has been changing like crazy-- I've been waking up with headaches, which is the worst, but it's also a sign of a lot of pressure changes. It sprinkled a pretty little rain for about 0.2397 seconds at 8AM. It made me excited for spring.

I actually got ready this morning, and even though I didn't particularly have "enough time" (read: 20 minutes), I managed to pull it together-- me and my body-wash-washed hair. Speaking of my hair, I'd really like to dye it again. Also I'm growing it back out (again) so that it will look something like
because this hair is parfait hair, and so is her makeup. I want to live in the 60s. But I digress.

My perfect not-winter-not-spring-not-1960s outfit looks like this.

1. Headband (Forever 21). Black. Bow. Perfect.Note: this is me wearing this headband sometime last summer, and looking very excited because I won Pin the Tail on the Donkey at Michael's birthday party by pinning the freaking tail on the donkey EXACTLY WHERE IT'S SUPPOSED TO GO.

2. This dress (Target), only it's black on top with a black and pink and purple skirt so it's like subtle spring. Like spring at nighttime. Like spring that's just a little chilly still. Also it's got an elastic belt that hits me just so and makes me want to be more like Julie and Jessica, who belt everything in their wardrobes because it makes them look fantastic. Maybe they're on to something here.
Note: my skin is IN NO WAY so lovely and golden and warm. I don't think I could ever be this color tan if even dreamed about it.

3. Cardigan (Old Navy), since it's not-spring, but white, because it's not-winter.Note: This is close to a Perfect Cardigan. I almost bought one in every color, except I'd already bought three others that day when I went shopping for new clothes because I got a new job and needed new work clothes. Duh. Of course.

4. Leggings (Forever 21). This dress is short, which would make me unprofessional in the workplace. Also, this dress is short, which would make me freeze.Note: If you think these are my legs-- or that is my flat stomach-- you are sooooooooorely mistaken.

5. Gray boots that make me feel like Peter Pan (Target). These keep me warm.
Note: Take the buckles off the boots in this picture, and that's what my actual boots look like. Slouchy and knee-high and like Peter Pan, am I right am I right?

Also, every bit of jewelry I'm wearing today was given to me by Mr. Ames, who let me snuggle up real tight to him last night after I had a very bad dream in which our campus library blew up and everyone died. Apparently, I have an active imagination, and my dream-mourning may have manifested itself by the abundance of black in my outfit today. How fitting.

In other news: this is the greatest album you will ever own, so you must buy it. If you don't know The Rocket Summer, and if you think you don't care, you're wrong, and please read this post.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

i have back fat

Gross, right? But guess what. I also have stomach fat. And arm fat. And chin fat. Fat fat fat all around.

I mean, I get it-- I am not a Fat Girl. I know this. I know that people don't look at me and think, Geez, look at that fatty. I've recently arrived at the conclusion that, even though I may have to buy a Large cardigan at Forever 21, it is because Forever 21 is made for 13-year olds and a Large cardigan does not make me a Large person.

That said, I'm a little round here and there, let's just be honest. While I'm not a fatty, I'm also not a skinny little thing with skinny pants and skinny shirts and skinny skinny. The reality is that I do have to buy Large cardigans at Forever 21. It's a truth. And, having been thinner in my past, I know it's a reality to be thinner in my present. No amount of layering and distracting the eye with interesting headbands will change the fact that I could stand to lose a few, if for no other reason than to make myself feel better about myself.

So. LET IT BE KNOWN. I am resolved to lose 15 lbs by the end of March, after which I will reevaluate and, depending on how we feel about things, proceed for another 5 lbs by the end of April. By then, I'll be healthy, hydrated, less jiggly, and maybe a little more on my way to looking like this:

Because I think she is about the epitome of femininity and elegance and being perfectly healthy and not stick thin. Also, if I look more like this, I bet I'm also one step closer to winning an Oscar. Win win win.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

i have a friend named julie

Julie isn't a thing, she's a person, but I figure she's good for the blog since I have her. For a friend, anyway. She got me a really cool watch for Christmas that I've eyed for literally two years, so I guess that counts for the money spending.

But anyway. My friend Julie. She is frequently mentioned on this and my other blog, typically as the Julie with the clothes blog. That's because she has a blog about clothes, but she also writes really well on her normal blog-- because she writes really well. Once she wanted to be an English teacher and she was pursuing an English degree, but Julie suffers from the same problem I had in school, in that we are smart, we like to be smart, if we actually tried to be good students we could, graduate school would be no problem, but we like to sit around Denny's until 2am too often, to the detriment of our homework. In this case, specifically to the detriment of Julie's homework. So she's not an English major anymore, but she still writes really well. Like, really well.

Along those lines, it has been suggested that she write a book about her life published under a pseudonym, which I happen to think would be highly successful and a very lucrative option, but I'll leave that up to her.

This is a shirt-tunic thing that Julie has, and I have it too, so I think that counts for the blog. Actually, her little sister Jenny has it, but I've never seen Jenny wear it-- only Julie. We call it "Ragu" because one time she wore it and looked like the older sister on My Big Fat Greek Wedding, even though that lady is Greek and I'm pretty sure the word "ragu" is Italian. In fact, I know it's Italian. It's fine. We know what we mean.

In fact, it happens a lot that we just kind of talk (a lot, really. We really like to talk. I mean, we talk a lot a lot a lot, which I'm sure you'd never be able to tell since I don't ever say much on this or any blog and neither does she) in a manner so that we know what we mean, but a lot of people don't know what we mean. Like we'll say things like, "He doesn't like me, he likes me." Which, I mean, makes perfect sense.

Julie and I had a New Year's party last year, and we're having it again this year, but my point is that it was really a Big Moment in our lives. Something changed that night, and it kind of opened the door to a doozy of a year for her-- let's just be honest about it. She is. After our Grown Up party (that people came to), we suddenly found the circus of life had turned into something Normal. Then we started dating these boys, and then we both got engaged within a week of each other, and then we were going to get married a week apart. This was exciting. Long story made short, however, not all came to pass, and unfortunately, Julie (and her ex-fiance, for that matter) suffered a dis-engagement, which was pretty sad and horrible. But you know, I really think she's come out on top from the whole thing. I don't mean that she's better off than before she was engaged, and I'm not at all mud-slinging ex-fiance (who is one of my longest-time friends). All I mean is that life tossed her a few hundred lemons, and she's still squeezing the last drops of juice from them all. That lemonade sure tastes delicious!!

We met a few years ago during A Christmas Carol at HCTO when we were both in the choir. It was the last of the Great Choirs for the show, if you ask me, us with our dresses, and Robbie and Sarah, and Adam and Eric and that's when we met Jim, too. She grew up seeing every HCTO show ever and then was in it and it was a dream come true. We've been in together four years and then this year, suddenly-- we were over it. In a good, nostalgic, we'll always say we want to go back to it even if we never do kind of way. In the meantime, she auditioned for Dirty Rotten Scoundrels a few weeks ago, nailed the audish, and is going to be single cast in the show opening in February. This is because she can Sing. Not just sing, but Sing. Also she plays the piano. Not so much of a dancer, but at least she's a mover, and that will do just fine, particularly all gussied up in a French maid costume for the show.

Julie likes books, journals, clothes (duh), old movies like White Christmas, modge podging, hunting Savers and DI (she may have sold her soul to the thrifting gods-- I'm really not sure she hasn't), taking pictures of herself and others twirling around, McDonald's, Thai food, mixing up all the remnants of food and condiments during 4-hour trips to Denny's, looking at pretty things in Target, sitting in the Target food court with me, texting, tweeting (@julieannaface), A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, and her baby cousins. Children of all ages are drawn to her in kind of a freaky, have-a-baby-soon way. She is very nice. She likes my husband. Her birthday is on Valentine's day. She makes friends with every single person who ever lived and lives to make people happy.

Merry Christmas, Julie, and cheers to the end of a Very Long Year. Clink.

All photos courtesy of Julie's very own facebook page, which I stalk, but not enough to be one of her Top Five Stalkers.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

i have music

So there's this band I like, called The Rocket Summer. The band is actually just one guy called Bryce Avary who records almost all the instruments/vocals on his albums, but then takes a band with him on tour, so he can switch around to all the different instruments throughout the performance.

He is a musical genius and gives the greatest concerts you will ever hear. This is not an exaggeration. Last year The Rocket Summer played in Salt Lake ON MY BIRTHDAY SEPTEMBER 19. Look how excited we were about it!
Possibly the ugliest face I've ever made in my life. Captures the moment, regardless.

Then my mom got me a Rocket Summer sweatshirt and I felt really awesome about it, so I made another ugly face, because I'm so so good at making ugly faces. Clearly. But it's a kick-ah sweatshirt and totally hardcore, which justifies the gangsta face.I even took a Rocket Summer t-shirt with me to England and I wore it when I hung out by replica of Sir Francis Drake's ship with some really hot red sunglasses. I have an international affection, Bryce. Aren't I awesome?And check this out you twits-- @therocketsummer follows ME on twitter. Yes it's really Bryce Avary. Yes, he's got 18,000 followers. Yes, he only follows 1,200. Pretty good ratio, yeah?? So yeah, I can directly tweet Bryce if I want. Shrug hair toss cigarette tap.Anyway, my fanaticism wouldn't mean anything (and probably still doesn't mean anything to anyone else but whatever this is my blog read it) if it weren't for the music music music doo doo doooooooo. So I created a little playlist for you, starting with one of the brandest new songs that's been released in preparation for the new album which will be released February 23, 2010.

Get excited. I am.

Get a playlist! Standalone player Get Ringtones